Demystifying Potty Training

When I first began to actually consider potty training my child it suddenly didn’t seem so simple.  All these questions popped into my head like, “What happens in the car seat with no diaper on?” or “What do you do if they just refuse to ever use the toilet?” or just plain and simple “Am I pushing this on her too early?”  The visions of diaper eradication are grand, but at what price?

With all my worries, the technique I ended up using for my oldest daughter worked in 5 days!  I was amazed when it worked so well and I have to give credit to Jo Frost’s book Suppernanny: How to get the Best from Your Children.  You can certainly run out and buy this book (which I do recommend), but I’m going to touch on the essentials here.

In preparation, you need to prepare your own mind.  Know that there is no going back and that diapers are now a thing of the past. Frost’s explanation is that this helps to eliminate confusion for the child about what their parents expect of them.  “Do I use the potty or do I use my diaper?”

You next prepare your child.  Watch and observe them.  Do they show interest in the bathroom and what you’re doing in there? (yes, there is no privacy at this age!).  Typically potty training starts around 2 years to 2 ½.  Sometimes boys take a little longer. If you do start potty training and it seems to be an abnormal disaster, then perhaps you may need to wait a little longer.

The next step in preparation was my favorite part. We bought a new plastic container and wrote on it “potty treats” and filled it full of M&Ms. My daughter, about 1 ½ years later, still fondly calls M&Ms potty treats. The way this works is simply that every time your child successfully uses the toilet they get an M&M. Of course this can sometimes get abused by a child who suddenly has to use the toilet 4 times in an hour, but even this is stepping in the right direction.  You’re getting them excited about using the bathroom after all.  Eventually we faded the M&Ms out when it became superfluous.

You’re almost ready! Head to the store and buy fun underwear, a cheap portable potty seat and another one for the house.  Get exciting underwear with princesses or robots on them help encourage their process.  The portable potty will be kept in the car for a few months (more later). The seat for the house (I recommend one that fits onto the adult seat) will be for normal use when at home.

Now that you’re prepared, day one begins. Explain to your child that they will no longer be using diapers and that every time they need to use the toilet, they need to let you know and you’ll rush them on over to use it.  On day one and two, expect to change clothes several times during the day.  Just accepting this helps endure it and realize that it gets better quickly.

Throughout the day keep asking your child if they need to go number 1 or 2.  Don’t be afraid to leave the house as your child needs to know that life continues on just as normal.  I would leave the house, but those days held some of the fastest grocery store trips ever.  They were in record time! Before leaving the house pack some spare clothes with you just incase and ask your child if they need to go. If they are in the car and say that they need to go potty then pull over to a safe place and whip out the porta-potty. It may be embarrassing, but better than cleaning up the car seat later.

You may not see much progress in the first few days, but kids generally don’t like to wet their pants start catching on.  Around the 3^rd or 4^th day you’ll see fewer accidents and more enthusiasm for their pee-and-reward game. By the 5^th or 6^th day you might come upon your first full accident free day.  It should get exponentially better from here on out.

The main point of potty training is to be consistent with your training. If another person is helping you with childcare, then make sure they’re on board with your plan as well and not reverting back to diapers. Bring spare clothes with you as a habit for a few weeks. For a while it may seem that diapers were easier than underwear, but once your child catches the knack of potty training you’ll see how much easier you’ve made things on yourself!  Finally, good luck!